There are so many taboo subjects when it comes to faith. Getting angry at God is one of them. But right now? I am good and mad. My head is telling me all of the reasons that I should be ashamed for being angry! He doesn't owe me anything. There is no guarantee that He will answer our prayers.
Over the past year, I have wholeheartedly dedicated myself to the work I believe God has called me to do. My journey has taken me from being a lukewarm Christian to actively trying to live a life that adheres more closely to the narrow path. I understand that it's not about works; that's not the basis of it. Yet, I still hoped... perhaps He would grant this small prayer of mine.
But He didn't. In fact, things got worse. I'm broken and sad and, yes, I'm disappointed. I don't ask for much. And I try hard to make everyone happy. It was one tiny thing.
I sound like a selfish, self-centered brat. But pain and sadness can make people not act like their best selves.
He already gave me the greatest gift. And in the scheme of things, this is a speck on a flea's eyelash. And knowing all of this still doesn't stop my tears or my broken heart.
Chronicles 13:11-14
Then David was angry because the Lord’s wrath had broken out against Uzzah, and to this day that place is called Perez Uzzah.[c]
12 David was afraid of God that day and asked, “How can I ever bring the ark of God to me?” 13 He did not take the ark to be with him in the City of David. Instead, he took it to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite. 14 The ark of God remained with the family of Obed-Edom in his house for three months, and the Lord blessed his household and everything he had.
David was angry. King David. Writer of Psalms. Killer of giants. Singing praises to the LORD, David. Was angry. And he pushed God away for three months. So, I guess that means that no one is perfect.
The trick is not to stay angry. And to not be disrespectful. God is still God, after all.
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